All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

Hi Jen,

Thanks for your comments. I do feel a lot better and much stronger, obviously it's not what i want, but i'm trying to be the best I can. Your right time does move slowly for us. If it wasn't for this board, I think I would be nagging my H for R talks but instead I'm trying to be patient and just give him the space he needs. Although H contacts me ALL the time, I do feel as if things are at a standstill, not moving backwards which is good, but I still don't know why he contacts me as much as he does. Not that i'm complaining, i see so many people trying to achieve what I have got, that I have no reason to complain. I'm still not good at setting goals, I tend to analyse things and ask q's here, i'm not obsessing so much as I used too, so again this is a positive point for me.

Your right about people knowing our sitch, we haven't told anybody really, just close family. The extended family know through the grapevine, but it really is none of their business.

I am invited to BIL & SIL's for New Year (H's Brother) and I accepted ages ago, they live 100 miles away, but we see each other every couple of months. I have been to stay with them on my own with the boys but without H twice since the bomb. The thing is SIL phoned the other day and asked if H is coming for NY? They would like to see him and she is leaving it for me to ask H. The problem I have is that a) I don't think H will come b) I don't think I really want H to come c)one of the things H said when he dropped the bomb is that he hated New Year because we always do the same thing (stopping in b/c of no babysitters) and he can't be all romantic and stuff, which he said he knew I wanted. I'm sure H will be happy he is free to make his own arrangements this year without having to consider me or babysitters, I don't think he will be in any rush to ask me what my plans are. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable by asking or to put him the position of saying no and I don't want to let him know what i'm doing either atm, i'm sure he'll ask nearer the time b/c of the boys. I'm waffling now, not really sure what i'm trying to say, i think what i'm trying to say is that if he wants to spend NY with me he can ask, if he isn't planning on spending NY with me then thats fine b/c I have plans already.

Cat - Caught up on your sitch, sorry to hear you are in pain< I can't offer any advice, but I wanted to you to know i'm thinking of you and praying. My A is on the 12/12 also. What date is yours? My H i'm sure has forgotten, he hasn't mentioned it and I know he is out for a xmas meal from work. I don't expect anything from in and i'd like to be away from work and the area for the day and do something for myself and be 'unpredictable' for the day!! Your plans sound great, hope you enjoy it, I would suggest just enjoy the time for what it is and don't expect too much. Have you bought a card and gift? What have you written in the card?

X Eve