I think that I am slowly coming to the reality of the whole matter and how much my W drove the love out of our marriage and created and alternate reality.
I wonder what or how when I am what appears to be a good husband and nothing happens and I used to get all sad and feel sorry for myself. I am sure I still will do that, but I am getting better at it and see that she is so confused and messed up in ways I cannot imagine. I can smile and tell jokes about any subject, she knows that she has entered a whole new reality with her lies and her deception.
I have had a few good days after the blow up, but there has been no physical contact at all. I used to try and tough her a little at night or just give a kiss hello or goodbye, I am not doing anything at the moment.
Just babbling on because I have to I guess. It is so hard because I feel that things are improving yet my W is still in another world most of the time, I will keep smiling and keep at it the best I can and I wish everyone a splendid weekend. I am working all weekend and late tonight so there will be lots of space for her. I am just hopeful that maybe it will be good and revealing for her.
