Divorced, but still hoping for a miracle

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Hi P42,

I wanted to start a new thread with a similar theme as yours but then saw your thread and decided to join in. I sympathize with your predicament. And I want to get a sense of how realistic it is to try to reconcile once divorce is filed by a WAW.

I've been trying very hard to save the marriage (mostly cheeseless tunnels including the infamous LRT) while at the same time having to fight the legal battle. I'm still trying, hoping and praying till the final divorce decree happens (its very close now).

My W is similar to yours - irrational anger, hatred, and blame, tears, ranting and raving every time I talk with her. And this is 10 months since she filed for divorce and 6 months after she moved out of the house.

There was an OM (EA at minimum) who supported her - though in the last month or so she claims each time I meet her that she does not talk to him anymore (I do not bring this up at all). But she still hasn't run out of steam on the ranting and raving and shows no signs of relenting.

I have fought for my rights on custody and property (already ~$50K squandered). Its like fighting an alien enemy, something I never imagined I'd have to do as family and kids was my life.

I've tried a whole lot of "cheeseless tunnels". But her emotionally charged state makes me wonder if she's still clinging to the marriage deep down but something else is coming in the way (pride, guilt, etc.). I'm told she'd somehow have to hit rock bottom to reverse course and that could take years and be too late to restore health to the family, marriage and finances.

I feel that once divorce is filed its extremely difficult to reverse. Anyway I'm wondering if there are people on this board with first hand experience saving a marriage AFTER a WAW has filed for divorce? Please speak up!