Alright I think I'm being DB'ed in some way. She admits to starting to read relationship books.
W shows up tonight to pick up S. Comes in on her own since S and I are in the back, walk out and she is there. Feel pretty good that she feels welcome enought to walk in.
After she greets S she asks to smoke (BTW, how did I get back on this habit, I hate it!), she is doing everything to keep S inside, saying Mommy and Daddy have to talk. We get out there and she wants to talk, I haven't heard from her ever saying that.
So W states, she has been thinking about MC, and she wants to do it, just not yet. Says she isn't ready to face what she has done. Also, says she thinks we should get the D, and then she says but I would like to try and "live in sin" when the time is right. I just roll with it.
She comes back in and sits for a few, S again doesn't want to go to her house, he is really attached to me right now, but easy to understand. I'm not depressed and we play a lot, while she is pretty down and usually lays on her couch and he runs crazy.
Then she says she needs my help with the car seat, I got out and fix it, the whole time she is sitting in the car talking with me. She has made a really good friend, she is D'ing as well, has kids. W has never had good choices in GF's so for once she says it is really good, since this girl isn't an idiot. Tells me her friends stories about her D all the time and what she should do. Her friend wants to save her marriage, but evertime she tries H gets so irrate he punches the walls and ends up arrested. I don't the know them so not really sure what to say.
But I think W needs some girl time, seems to help. But she is down. She also asked to do X-mas shopping together now, we are sledding Sunday, this is all at her request. So I figure I just keep taking the baby steps and see what happens.
Oh, also, W can't deal with her attorney, she is totally scared of the guy and he won't quit calling after she called and said he is fired. So she asked if I would write the letter to him for her. So tonight I got the letter together to fire him and emailed it to her. She is even afraid to give it to his secretary. Gives the whole damn profession a bad name.
So things seem to be going well, hugs and I do a few pecks on the head, I'm 6'2" and she is much shorter. Had to through that out there. But I can see when we just sit on the couch she is very tense. Have to keep working on that.
But I can see when we just sit on the couch she is very tense. Have to keep working on that.
No you don't -- SHE does, and will do so on her own time and at her own pace. Just be nice, friendly, etc, and let her work it out on her own. Is she doing any IC? Maybe this would be a good place to start before treading into the MC territory.
On a side note. The house is a total mess with the carpet, it smells like dogs have been here for a while. I keep cleaning it, but it won't clean up. Well W tonight noticed some spots and was really curious and mentioned that we need new carpet. Which I totally agree, but without her income it is an impossibility. Thought it pretty interesting that she is concerned about the house and we have talked about repainting some areas lately as well. I like that she is taking an interest in what I consider the home I bought for her.
Holy crap Atlas....what a story!!!!! I've been here a long time and I think this is the first type of story that has a lot....and I mean A LOT of promise......
I would say...get some paint....start a little bit in the spot you two are talking about...let her get involved....paint is cheap but the together time will last for sure.
Well it happened again, W followed through with what she said. It just floors me. Got the withdrawal from her lawyer today. So now it's time to write the settlment. Sort of weird to be getting along so well and D'ing.
I had to call her about child arrangements tonight, she was really upbeat and telling me that the girls were going to eat at the cheescake factory, and then maybe get a couple of drinks. We talked for a bit.
As soon as I brought up the withdrawal and said I would have the settlement written, she became a real big downer real fast. I can tell she doesn't want this now, but I need legal protection from her.
She has also asked to go X-mas shopping with her, so she asked about that again. I'll post up tonight about some of the things she said last night that have me concerned.
So I get home and this jeep pulls up at the house. It is a child hood friend. W and I actually bought a house just around the corner from where I grew up. Friend's brother bought his parents place and he just sold his and is building. So him and his W are in the basement until the house if build.
Well I haven't seen him for years, once since my bachelor party seven years ago. Had a good visit and he is within walking distance. COOL!!
Well W showed while friend was there, I introduced them and she was really upbeat and said she heard a lot about him. I walked her out for her girls night out and she stated that she has to pay me back for watching S tonight. I threw it out there, I said instead of watching him on my weekend how about we go on a date. W got really happy and said yes. I know, keep the expecations low. She has been texting me and I hear, so that is good.
So here is the weird thing, last night W brought this up again. She wants me to date and sleep with another girl, said it would make her feel better, I told her while it might make her feel better it won't make me feel better. She is really hung up on this, I know it is guilt, but I don't want anyone else. Not really sure how to respond to that, any suggestions?
Last night W mentioned that she had a huge workload for Saturday and had to assess more people in a day then she ever has. Well I text'ed her today and said how are assessments going? No response, but who knows, she doesn't have her phone on when she is doing them.
Well just a few minutes ago she calls, says they went well but it was long. Here is the stupid part, she says she has a ton of paper work now and will "be home around 6." Noticed that she called it home. Good step.
But today my PMA has been a little down, I had some pretty disturbing dreams about W last night, and couldn't help but feel all day that maybe she is seeing OM again. Just a feeling. Well when she said she would be late, I thought oh that leaves a 2 hour window, hmmm.
I know stupid thoughts need to drop it. What would I expect at anyone's work with a long day of meetings...lots of paper work.
Then she asked what I was doing tonight. I just replied that I haven't decided yet. Then she just went "oh" like I shot her down or something.
Probably over analyzing everything. Well I'm going to have dinner ready so when she shows if she would like she can. God I'm starting to get sucked back in, I could really use a night watching movies and cuddling. Ha! Like that would happen.
I just had an AMAZING night with W. Well after I was worried about the 2 hour window of time, she shows right up at the house after she called. We had a great evening, lots of talk. I can't even begin to post for now, I have so much to think about. But I did give the "I know that is all you can give for now" speech, and she was very receptive. She said a lot and and told me she wants to see a physch, then MC, then routrovaille, then move back in. Said she can't guarantee that it will work, but she wants it. Just a great night.
Oh cuddling, I gave her a back rub (under the shirt! hehe). Things went very well.
I just got a reply email from SIL. She is going through a very tough time right now, medically. This is also the same SIL that had submitted the scathing affidavit to court, but I realize it was the lawyer, not her. Well I sent her an email a few days ago saying she was in my prayers and I was worried. She responded!!!! Just like her old self.
Oh, I forget to add that W asked if I would go out tommorow night with her to a movie. I now a move won't provide the talking and such we need, but it is good sign. I joked about making out in the back row and she flirted back, there won't be, but she did flirt back.
We are sledding as a family tomorrow during the day. That should be fun.
