Pregnant and abandoned #3

[JennyF]

Blindsided...
Thanks for stopping by my thread, I appreciate it...I wanted to comment on a couple things and I pasted them here in case you didn't go back to read it.

You should hear the crap he is spewing about me breast feeding (he says that it's my body that will decide how long I breast feed) and questioning why I'm going to take the whole 12 weeks of maternity leave.

My H is pushing me to pump so he can take S...he's only 7 wks old! I told him 'we're not ready yet'. Anyway...YOU will decide how long you will breastfeed for...make that clear to him. 12 WEEKS mat leave??? Sorry to tell you this, but here in Canada I get a full year. I'm deathly afraid I'll have to go back at 6 months for financial reasons never mind 12 weeks! Don't you go back a second before you're ready. You will never get this time back with your baby and you need to relish and every moment you're entitled to...he's already taken enough away from you.

I am still in the stage of trying to woo him back by spending time with him and telling him that the person he saw on the hormones the last 9 months is not the person I really am, he just left before that one came back.

Errrr...have you read DR?? I have to be honest about something blindsided and I hope I don't offend you...one of the reasons why I stopped posting on your site is because it is exactly the same thing over and over. Now I know we all have a tendancy to do this...but you really keep doing what will have the OPPOSITE affect of what you want. I do stop by to read up...and see you're getting the same advice and support...but I don't see you getting it. Stop trying to woo him! Trust me I get where you are...I would give ANYTHING to go back to your stage of pregnancy and know what I know now. If I had started to DB then...I probably wouldn't be here now.

Now I just read one of your posts...

It's the fear than holds me back. The fear that he will be happy with OW and won't even think about coming back. I'm really scared

I know how you feel...I feel exactly the same. My H is making plans to BUY a house w/ OW and our son is only 7 wks old!
He WILL be happy with her...but he has to go through that euphoric drug like infatuation before he can get to the part where he sees for what she really is and that you are so much better. But you have to let him go to do this. I know it's hard...I'm doing the EXACT same thing.

I've heard a lot of people say here "fake it 'til you make it" why don't you try writing a post that is exactly the opposite of what you've been writing. Write how you wish you could be.

Keep telling me I can do it. Because I don't feel like I can.

There is only so much others can make you believe. You have to start to believe this for yourself. If you keep saying you can't...then you can't!

I really feel for you and I in no way mean to demean your feelings...this is still relatively new to you and time will help a lot. But you've got some great advice and resourses that will help if you find the courage to implement them...I know you've got it!

(((hugs)))
J~