Mixed signals - question from the separated forum

[catfan]

Well it's been a bit over 2 months since I started this thread. A lot has happened in 2 months! We are now having regular weekly lunches, could we say lunch dates? Lunch is "her" thing and I let her drive it. We have also for a good while been having family dinner together on Sunday nights. This started because Sunday evening is our time to "hand off" the kids. She'll usually cook dinner and lately she's been cooking some great dinners. (Yes I make sure I tell her that too.)

Also in October we both read "The 5 Love Languages" and lightly discussed it. Since then we both have slowly been making progress at speaking the other's love languages. I think this is a real key because ultimately the fact she didn't feel loved was central in her walking away from our marriage.

She's looking into counselors for us to see as well. The counselor that our girls see gave me a list of recommended counselors back in the summer. I told my wife and she's taken that list. I have no idea where she is in checking the list and when she's ready I figure she'll bring it up.

Other happenings include her now joining the girls, me and my parents for Christmas. We are also now going as a family to a Christmas banquet with our best couple friends.

So yes the being friends approach has yielded very positive results to date. But I am a little nervous about us making the next steps, well really her and if she can make the next steps. But she has openly said she wants to do this to see if we can get somewhere more positive. She hasn't said reconcile yet but that's what she's thinking.

Now here's my challenge, not to get overly anxious, excited or anything that will come across as pushing. I've stumbled a few times and we've talked about it. Luckily she's a little understanding. But dang it's hard not to feel like if we are going to do this lets get to it! On the flip side its hard not to feel a bit anxious because she still isn't openly sharing her feelings, keeping those close to the vest.