Had to get this story down before I forget it.....
Just gonna settle down to watch the game and eat some chili. phone rings. it is stbx. yeah, I am still headed straight towards the divorce...(i could write chapters on that) anyways. "The cats caught a critter, ummm could you come and get it?" Well, where are you? "Hiding in my bedroom with the kid" LOL, so what they catch? "At first, I thought he had a mouse, but I think it is a bat!" OK....I'll be there as soon as I get dressed.
Now, a mouse dont bother me, I have picked em up by there tail and watched them try to run.
But.....well.......bats kinda freak me out. So I go to the garage, gonna get in my car. And think,......better arm myself. Grab an empty pizza hut box. Channel lock pliers. And welder gloves. Put on safety glasses on too, you betcha.
I arrive in full battle dress at her place 3 minutes later, (its only 4 blocks)
Knock on back door. No answer. I go in. Hello......Hello. Its by the christmas tree. Both cats got it pinned. Ok, I almosted pooped myself when I saw it. 1 cat holding each wing. Now think, of the movie "Wizard of Oz" know them flying monkeys? well it looked like one of them only about 1/3 of its size. I yelled HOLY SH%#!!!! "Hey watch your mouth! I got the kid in here" Well Did You See This SONOFAB@&H? she shuts the door
So I open pizza box. Yell scat at the cats. Thing starts moving. I dropped the pizza box open towards me onto of it. Box is moving this thing is squaking cats are creeping back. What to do? What to do? I started smacking the box with the wrench. its squacking louder pushing on the box my sphincster is tightening. I think I connected with it, it gets quieter. I scat the cats again. slide the box down to look at it. I see the head, thing has fangs looks dead. I lean in to look a little closer.
I am like 1 foot away looking. it rears up at me and SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK. (was like a freaking horror movie when ya think the monster is finally dead) I think I pee'd myself a little at this point. I labled it right in the head with the wrench, and dropped it the box. She comes out and we double bag the box in trash bags. We talked for a few minutes.
So I guess I am still good enough to call if she needs some killing done. You know, I think for all that trouble she should have ......... yeah, right!!
