WAW hasn't walked yet, but emotionally dead

[mako]

Just to journal a bit.

I ended up responding to W's e-mail last night, the one about her wanting physical space cause hanging out would mess with her emotions, but phone and e-mail is alright. I just said "I can see where you're coming from, space is a-ok, and might even be good to let me focus on working on myself." That last part was unnecessary, I wrote it kind of in response to her earlier comment that it's good I was making so much progress...possibly a mistake, but I can't sweat it now, it's done. I haven't heard from her.

This whole detaching thing is hard! I've felt a lot of urges to call W today for some reason, but I'm not going to do that. It might satisfy me for a moment but then she either won't answer or else we'll have a 5 minute conversation about nothing and it will just be back where I started and push back my detachment. So, I'm trying, it's just difficult, but I'll do it.

So there it is, one day of no contact and I'm already complaining, even though I've been through this several times already. Take a breath and say it after me: "Detachment is key, detachment is key."

I know GALing is pretty important to this as it gets you focusing on yourself, not the R. My dog has diarrhea though so I can't do much as far as going out, I don't want to leave her for too long. Tonight I just stayed in, made dinner and have been doing some writing...something I dabbled in a bit before but haven't done in years, so that's something and I've been enjoying it. I guess I haven't been doing so bad after all today, the urge to call hasn't been there much after work. So I'll keep pushing through...