Just don't be afraid to use a little spunk. My sister has been abused in three different marriages. She still has not learned. The man she is with now, she caters to him like he was a pouty little boy that is going to throw a fit if he isn't happy. That is exactly how he acts all the time. The more she tries to pacify him and do things he would like and praise him and bow down to every wish and becomes his door mat....the more he walks all over her. I can't stand it. I have tried for years to get her to see that he will not respect her being his door mat. One time.....just one time she got her nerve up and stood up to him. She had had enough and told him off good and proper. Well, he nearly worshipped her after that! As soon as the shock wore off, of course.....lol. But, sadly, she started letting down her guard again and the same old patterns started all over again. Now, he treats her like he is a spoiled brat and throws every mistake she ever made up in her face and makes her feel stupid and like a fool in front of others.
I am a strong believer in repecting the one you are M to in order to love them. You have to earn that respect, Ann. You can say it in your own way, but if you don't make him know you mean business, he will not pay any attention to you and will not heed what you say. I don't want you to do anything to get beat up over.....heaven forbid....but just stand your ground and don't back down. Use that spunk, girl!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
