No, it's just a long story. It happen many years ago. I had asked him for us to work on a list of things we would like to see in our M for about two weeks and then come together on a special time/day and spend it together talking about what was on our lists. So, he said ok. Well, I worked realy hard on mine with great thought put into it. So, we went out of town and found a park and sat down to talk. I was so excited to see what he had on his list. Then he tells me he doesn't have a list. I ask him why not and he says that it is simple.....he just wants more sex. He didn't even try. I was so disappointed to think that he let me go those two weeks, knowing that I was working hard on my list and knowing that I thought he was working on one also, just to discover that it came back to the same thing that it always did with him.....sex! That is all he had to say and as far as I was concerned I wondered why he wasted the trip over there just to tell me that one word he could have said in the kitchen at the house. I should have know. He never knew how to work on any kind of R. His answer was always sex, sex, and more sex. Well, I gave it to him, but it was never enough. And when I was at my peak......he stopped.
It wasn't that he wanted sex that turned me off, it was the way he treated me by making me think he was working on something with me and then found out he thought it was all silly and that everything would be fine if we just had more sex. Sex is not the answer to everything in M. Nothing about our R was making me happy, nor were my emotional needs being met by a long shot....but he sure as heck was getting sex!
So, if I sound a little resentful when you are always asking what's in it for him, well, that's what I wondered for all those decades when he was reaching a climax everytime we had sex and I wasn't. What was in it for me? When I was raising the kids, doing the housework and cooking for him, plus holding down a full time job b/c he couldn't make enough money and yet he couldn't help me with anything at home.....I wondered what was in it for me. When we couldn't have friends and he never wanted to go anywhere but to him Mama's and I was so lonely I would cry,..... I wondered what was in it for me. All those years he put me last on his list.....I had to ask myself what was in it for me.
I have been a good wife to him and up until last year never thought about another person. So, I messed up. Out of sheer lonliness I met someone and had an EA. The man had not slept in the same bed with me in over 20 years! When I use to practically beg him to come to bed with me and he had rather sit up and watch TV.....I wondered what was in it for me.
If I'm not as sorrowful as I should be and if I still have resenfulness in my heart.....and I do, it is b/c I have not told you enough to even touch the surface so that you would understand. But, having the mindset you apparently do, you probably would not "get it", Cemar, and still wonder what was in it for the husband. For women, marriage and a relationship and a life together is more than just screwing all the time! Maybe that is all some men want, but life means more than that to some of us.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
