w8ing, you sound really good! we all have to deal with what we are given in our own way.
plus, you are right that your marriage, as it is now, is over. that is a good thing and it doesn't mean you won't ever have another, better marriage with your H again
you said it, you are not closing the door
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)