But my guess is you really don't want to "pretend" in your R for very long.
The weird thing is that although I think SG was about right when she estimated me at being only about 15% bunny, I probably act about 50% bunny around GP but I'm not "pretending". There is something about his manner that places me firmly in the bunny role. He is just so much more assertively "old school" masculine than most guys I've been with. For instance, once when we were at the casino he said to me "Walk beside me, not behind me so it is clear that you are with me." like he couldn't properly be my bodyguard if I wasn't in his line of sight. Also, the way that he offers his over-the-top-validation it is less like he is trying to gain my favor and more like he is trying to make me blush. Also, he is 6'5" and pretty darn muscular and tough looking. I'm less monkey than normal around him, not because I'm not attracted to him but because my monkey gets a little daunted.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
And I'm sure you know the answer as to whether or not this guy is long-term material for you. Right?
I've been thinking about this. When I'm not around GP, my thoughts are that objectively we do not make a good match. Emotionally, I am exceedingly fond of him but not "in love". However, when I am around him, even just talking on the phone, I always enjoy myself and he pretty firmly psychologically renders me "barefoot and pregnant" So,it's like I feel as though he will have me if he wants me and if he doesn't I'll just wander off unscathed. The funny thing is this is true even though I would say that I am the more HD of the two of us, although he might be the more strong drive. Quite a few of our sexual encounters are sort of like a comedy routine where a monkey-girl teases a man in a panther suit and then is shocked/surprised when she realizes it is a real panther.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Mojo Did you notice the striking resemblance to my inner child, Rainbow Brite?
Yes, I did.
When I'm not around GP, my thoughts are that objectively we do not make a good match. Emotionally, I am exceedingly fond of him but not "in love". However, when I am around him, even just talking on the phone, I always enjoy myself and he pretty firmly psychologically renders me "barefoot and pregnant" That type of thinking causes me to wonder, will I ever understand a woman. Are R’s usually so uncertain? I have trouble determining the difference between a strong fond and a weak love type of feelings for someone.
ENJOY yourself. Fantasize. LET HIM do his thing. If you get miffed, say so. You are very capable of standing up for yourself and putting him in his place if need be. Until then, BUNKY it up. I think the best R to be in... is when you feel free to be yourself, you feel free to be honest, you feel free NOT to miss someone, you feel free to enjoy someone's company, you feel free to be annoyed, you feel free to enjoy time on your own, that much needed break, you feel free to be your monetary, not quite divorced, got to get my [censored] together business/mom woman... you FEEL FREE.
BTW, you aren't D yet... right? Or are you? Status?
ENJOY yourself. Fantasize. LET HIM do his thing. If you get miffed, say so. You are very capable of standing up for yourself and putting him in his place if need be. Until then, BUNKY it up. I think the best R to be in... is when you feel free to be yourself, you feel free to be honest, you feel free NOT to miss someone, you feel free to enjoy someone's company, you feel free to be annoyed, you feel free to enjoy time on your own, that much needed break, you feel free to be your monetary, not quite divorced, got to get my [censored] together business/mom woman... you FEEL FREE.
LOL- I think I'll be okay just as soon as I can figure out the name for the kind of relationship that a random,gentle,love mistress (the peach) on the cusp of being a random, gentle, sex mistress (the playstation) would prefer. I need to be free to be me in a relationship. I owe Cobra a debt of gratitude for bringing up the issue of the double standard and I'm glad that BF got on my nerves by implying that serial monogamy might be a form of "leading a man on". Like everybody else on this BB, I want what I want when I want it AND I want to be a good person who lives by some kind of code in relation to others. Because I WILL be gentle, loving/affectionate and sexual in a relationship, I feel the need to be random in order to protect myself if my current partner becomes brutal/controlling or withholding of sex or affection , like my 2bx. I need to be able to hop/swing away in order to protect myself so I won't commit to a relationship until I feel certain that a man tends towards being consistently gentle, loving and sexual also. Therefore, I've decided that I'm okay with my male partners being random until I'm ready to be more deliberate because that's only fair. I will only demand that they be sexual and affectionate.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Guess what? I took a test that determines how f*ckable you are and I am in the 99th percentile for women my age. So, you may ask "Why am I taking tests rather than getting f*cked on a Saturday night?" The answer is that it is winter in Michigan and I have bronchitis or walking pneumonia and my current beau has food poisoning or went out gambling and told me that he has food poisoning but I don't care anyways because I am probably going to break up with him and become polyamorous. You may be wondering why I have to break up with somebody in order to become polyamorous. Ethical polyamorous people are open and honest about their polyamory and GP is a possessive feudal lord type who wouldn't agree to that type of arrangement. Now, the question is how many polyamours will I have to have in order to ensure myself of always having somebody fun, affectionate and interesting with whom to have fun, sex and manhandling at least 3x a week? Probably it would be best to not make a rule for myself but rather just be curious and fluid about making it work. BTW, I learned a new word which is "compersion". It means the opposite of possessive or jealous. You feel compersion when you get pleasure or a feeling of freedom from the fact that somebody you care about is getting pleasure from somebody else.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Wait, didn't you tell us you were "naturally monogamous" and wouldn't have any fun at all with multiple boyfriends? Or was that someone else?
Originally Posted By: MJontheMend
Ethical polyamorous people are open and honest about their polyamory and GP is a possessive feudal lord type who wouldn't agree to that type of arrangement.
Well then asking for it would be equivalent to breaking up with him. Is that unethical?
Originally Posted By: MJontheMend
BTW, I learned a new word which is "compersion". It means the opposite of possessive or jealous. You feel compersion when you get pleasure or a feeling of freedom from the fact that somebody you care about is getting pleasure from somebody else.
So there actually is a word for it? Neato.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
LOL. {IC shakes his head in humorous disbelief} Is it just me, or are there others on here that when they die, they hope to be reincarnated as Mojo's mailman...just to see what interesting things she receives A f*ckable test! Now what kind of grading curve are we talking about? Because I can walk into a bar and a woman that might rank in the lower 50 percentile bracket might become maybe 75 or 80% f*ckable depending on the number and quality of the beer I'm drinking And I think the reverse can probably be said regarding us males...the more we drink, our f*ckable percentage tends to drop
