Dom, thanks. Maybe it's me, but doesn't it seem like there should be more that he needs than just sex? For years I've been the one to initiate sex or at least ask for it. Back before all the problems i would have loved every night or something like that, but he was fine with a couple times a week. No big deal. Even if i went a while without asking him about it, he wouldn't say much (tho that didn't happen often) Now how is it, that all he needs is sex from me. I just don't get that. he's never cared before.

I'll do a 180. I'm trying to think more about what I would normally say before i say it and say something else if i think it will help. I actually bought a book right before the divorce talk called a married mans guide to great sex. its all about how to talk to/deal with your wife on a day to day basis to make her more passionate about you and how that rolls over into the bedroom, kitchen table, wherever... ;\) . I just stuck it on the bookshelf after he said he wanted a divorce. time to get it out!

hi atlas, its an evil vicious circle, he doesn't get sex, he pouts, that is a turn off so he doesn't get sex... its the whole chicken and the egg thing... hehe. I appreciate your advice. He's been losing weight, so I've been trying to compliment that because I noticed. While no amount of that is going to change my attraction, i do tell him he's looking good. Any kind of specifics that a guy would like to hear to boost the ego?

yeah, sandi and you are right. That's only going to hurt us more. there will be one more conversation about that. the one where he brings it up and I tell him that it is in the past and now we need to work on us and our M. (i'll say it nicer.. hehe)

thanks... I'll take all the advice i can get. Eventually it'll sink into this think head of mine! \:\)

If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

ann