not a peep

[Trixi]

I think if I bother to get a legal separation put in place, that will up the ante and he will really feel compelled to file for divorce. I don't know.

What I had been TRYING to get across to him is that we could agree to everything, put it down on paper to avoid confusion but hold off on any drastic (read legal) measures. In fact, when I was talking about leaving things status quo (legally), I did say something like "it would give us both a chance to catch our breath and really evaluate things with clear heads." Cheese us, mary and joseph-- I was trying NOT to pressure him.

I am now vascillating between "oh, the horror of it all; how can it all end so fast?!" and "F him. good. Now I can just move on. I'm glad he's wanting to get it over with." It seems like there is so much water under the bridge, I can't imagine making this work without a lot of TIME and distance between us. I currently couldn't give less of a sh!t about this stupid house; I have no love for his parents (my DD bday was the end of Oct and they didn't call her-not to mention the rest of their shenanigans); I hate him for not really trying; for going out to bars; for dating other women (even though we're separated);for sleeping with me a week ago and then saying we should file ASAP; for saying if it gets ugly that's IT for us (even though he probably meant as friends.)

I don't understand what the big hurry IS. I mean, geez, there are people out there LIVING with OP that don't want to actually file yet. I guess I need to come to terms with the idea that he is done. That the marriage is too broken to fix and that there really IS too much history.

I feel like I may have stuck myself between a rock and a hard place--how do I get us to put things on paper without it escalating to a 'hurry up and file' type conversation? Is there any way to deescalate things? I do think that for the protection of both of us, we need to put things in writing.