Calling All Cats :)

[cat03]

I have told him what my expectations were, we've talked about them, but we always go back to the same, as if nothing was said, mostly because he says he isnt' ready to be affectionate in any ways with me (will receive hugs kisses but wont' give any if I dont' do it, none at all, this is month 4 of him sleeping downstairs).
It's always the same, no matter what is said he always says "but I dont' know what to do, how to behave" I reminded him today how considerate and attentive he was when we were dating, he said "well, after a while that stopped working" and "I don't remember how I felt back then", like his mind is wiped off clean of how to court or treat a woman.

I feel that all we talk about is his job, how stressful is, what he does/doesnt do, pretty much 90% of the time, 7% we talk kids 2% my job and 1% about us, if at all.

I have let go of lots of things around the home, the problem is that I do 99.5% of the household chores, all homework and kid related work and I wish he'd chip in, he has 2, count them, 2 chores to do during of his 3days off: vacuum basemant *once a week* and do the dishes (we use disposables btw), and half the time they aren't done. Some weeks are tougher than others, on his tough weeks I dont' even bring up his chores, I do them.
It's more about him being considerate than about a messy house, he forgets I too have a full time job, it's a desk job but come on, I need a break too.

He tries some days, but most times he seems despondent and aloof. I am counting on our C sessions and his IC sessions, we'll see how things go. We both agreed, he brought it up actually, that he wasn't really trying before and that we both have to work on this M, not just me, but I dont' see that happening. There are a few baby steps, that's why I still have hope.
Maybe we just had a bad day, he's had better weeks.

LN, I want to be loving and hug him and cuddle to him, but won't that be like pushing him into something he isnt' comfortable with yet? I stopped doing that, he doesnt' seem to mind one way or the other, after one talk in which he says he doesn't feel anything still.
Four months is a long time to wait, I still have a few more months in me, I will go on forward, but after August (one year after the A was discovered) i will be done, I can't go on another year with a person who wont' sleep with me kiss me or hug me or even be able to say he feels "something" for me.