just journaling, had a bad argument with H, he said some pretty awful things, how I'm hoping for us to get back together so I can tear into him, that I want only to control him, etc etc, it all came about because for the past two days I came home to a relatively messy place, I had a long commute both days, and I ended up cleaning up, we had a talk. He basically doesn't care about the house and I'm not asking for a spotless place (it is far from it now) just that he'd be in charge of having the kids picking up stuff they drop and keep it the way I left it in the am.
Long story short, tempers flared 1)because he's very nervous about a test he'll be taking tonight and his sgt jerked him around during his days off 2) because when accosed he says the first thing that come to his head, just the product of his fatalistic and negative views of people in general.

Had a good cry,, after a few texts he call to say how he screwed up by saying those things and that he shoot off his mouth.

He keeps repeating over and over how he doesn't know how to make things better between us, has no earthly clue what to do and that what he is doing isn't enough (well, IMO not doing much at all really towards real reconciliation). His work still consumes his best effords, and sadly, even that is not going great, the sgt hates him and makes his life a living heck when he can, he is the one who almost got him kicked out.

Phew, feel better now, we've talked a few times again, ok, so I'm adding that to the positive things he does, he won't let us stew on an argument and be mad for long, he calls me until we can talk decent.

Well, hope you had a better day \:\)


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.