WAW does not want to try

[Dom R]

be patient. I had an EA. my biggest struggle w/ my H now is that he wants so much from me physically and emotionally. he wants me back the way i was before all the problems. I can't get there yet. I am always thinking to myself "why can't he just be happy that I'm here and I want this and I'm trying?"

Some advice for YOU, Ann

At times in the past, my wife has often said to me, "Why cant you be happy with what I give you", or sometimes "Why is what I do never enough for you?"
These are in situations where I asked her for, lets say, 'X', and she gave me 50% of X, then complained that I'm "never satisfied".

From my perspective, that really pushed my button of, "How could she be so inconsiderate, that she's expecting me to be completely happy, when she's only giving me half of what I let her know I needed from her??"
It also seemed like she was very firmly saying, "I will only give you half of what you have asked for, ever"

That attitude, in and of itself, made it much more difficult for me to show appreciation for the effort she was putting in.

If she instead responded to me with something like, "this is what I can give you right now; it would be nice if you showed some appreciation at least for the improvement in this area!" then I think I would have been able to give that appreciation to her, and also been more patient with her.

So... maybe try being open with your husband about it, in that sort of way. Let him know that this is what you can give, for now, and that him showing appreciation for that, helps you continue your efforts.