Excellent. This is difficult and COG gave you some great advice about unconditional love. How to put OUR pride aside and support theirs. Hard, hard, hard.
I came on strong about the move but I support your decision. Don't get me wrong, the move will have advantages. Mine did. It does take off some of the stress. Only the disadvantages outweighed the advantages in my case; and the legal fallout was something I failed to consider.
And please understand I do not mean to stop talking to her. You read about "going dark" here a lot. It works for some but I tried it and I did not like it. Better to keep the communication going if you can.
But it is important to make each interaction a positive one. Happy talk, not R-talk.
Do set boundaries, but don't explain them. She needs to understand that you will be bunking with your son on weekends. That is not open to discussion. Just do it. And all the other conditions for the move should be understood, as you said. But leave it at that; no need to justify your position.
With unconditional love you give when you can. Give a little, give a lot. Agree with her whenever you can. Walk away when you disagree. Share your feelings - "I feel" statements rather than "you" statements. Empathize when you can. See things from her viewpoint.
You have a lot going for you. Expect her attitude to get worse (re-read COG above). There is something in her now that HAS to pull away and she is in love with her negative feelings about you and the R. She needs fuel to feed those feelings. Just try not to give her YOUR fuel.
Focus your fuel on you and becoming the man again that she once fell in love with.
