Why can't I do this....

[houndfan]

I bought book and she has seemed somewhat receptive in reading, but I do not know for sure.

I still think that I am getting some serious mixed signal's but not for sure. Again there has not been any R talk by either of us in some time but there have been a lot of "we/us" comments made by her. Especially in regards to future living arrangements, where we are going to live, what we will be doing for various holiday's etc.

So here is the latest, very curious as to what the "team" thinks. Please keep in mind that I think that I have really moved from a DB approach to some hybrid, let's call it a Dom'ing. Understand that I get it now that my issue in this marriage has been that I have not participated at all in any aspect of our lives for 8 years. In addition, I have been a liar cheater and thief.

I know I have been a pretty good guy right?!

Well, now I am really seeing that I am becomming a better guy and I truely get pleasure selfish lovely pleasure out of doing things for my family.

So the update is this.... last night W wanted to go with her friend to Chippendale's. So I tell her that I would have no problem spending the evening with kiddo's. I was planning an undercover cookie operation for the holiday's. My wife has hinted many times over the years and these last few weeks that I don't know what she likes and I make no effort to try her things. One that was really trooubling was that I have all of these family holiday memories and the only that she really has is having these special cookies that her grandmother made. So, I was able to find the receipe.

Well, operation cookie was hatched. Boys and I worked very hard to make those plus some other varieties last night in addition to homework and some other little tasks. Dom will appreciate this, I converted W's computer keyboard, mouse, and other periphs to a wireless set up.

Anyhow, I made the cookies, cleaned the kitchen and got us all ready for bed. I went to our bed and fell asleep. Well at about 1:30 am I was waken by cookie breath and some lovely woman rubbing my face. "I think that I am the only girl in Florida who spent the night at Chippendale's and got my favorite Christmas cookies when I came home. How did I get so lucky?" Hmmmm.... I didn't buy into it and went back to sleep.

Well this am she wakes with a headache and I had some water and advil on the ready. I had already made S7's lunch and pancakes for both boths. Got S4 ready for Pre-K and had a few moments to lay next to my wife for a little bit before leaving for work. Well that led to some hanky panky.... and for once, she did not make a comment afterwords that it may have been a mistake or that it was the last time, for sure this time. She just told me how nice it was and how it made her feel better.

So I leave for work.... and I just got an invite to join the family at Super Science Gross Out Night at S7's school. In the course of the conversation, she told me how she had called my mom this morning and told her how sweet it was that I made the effort to make her cookies for her. She even said, gasp, that they were not the right shape but it was so sweet that I was willing to do that for her.

Mom called me and told me that she is also noticing a difference in her in that normally when they talk it is all about what an a** I am and how nothing is every right. Ma said that this time, she nary said a word about me that was not positive.

I know she must be thinking that this is all short term. But darn it, I love the way that I feel right now. I love that I am getting very little back from her. No kisses, no I Love yous, little hand holding etc. But I feel so awesome finally doing things that make her smile and it sure does make me so warm.

Boy if I would have known so many years ago that being a nice guy felt so good, I never would have been a jacka**. So team, do I keep up the effort and face the fact that from time to time she will puch me away or recoil, do I keep up the 180's... is this was DB'ing is all about. (Dom R'ing) I am so glad that I listened to Dom early on in this when he told me not to go LRT but to focus on the 180's, I never realized how it would keep me going to do nice things for others...

Have a great day!