I often use the "you should" phrase. I don't anymore.
Good job! Keep this up. As I recall, I did this with my H2B during R1, and he found it very annoying.
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Probably there will always be control issues. I am not sure it is possible to reprogram myself, but maybe just keep it under wraps.
I think this is good, and I'm not suggesting you "reprogram" yourself. I think it's just something of which to be aware when you are communicating with her.
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Well, I change diapers now. Stark contrast to 7 months ago! I just want to be more available to them. I used to work a great deal and my kids suffered from that. I am trying to achieve a healthier balance.
This is excellent! Being a more involved dad and having a better balance b/t work and home life is best for everyone, including you! It will help keep you grounded and focused.
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I think my W feels that our house is a prison and I am the warden. I am not at all sure how to fix this issue. I know I don't want her to feel that way.
I would encourage you to explore this a little more for yourself -- see if you can understand why she might feel this way, then perhaps develop some 180's to address specifics.
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WRT to the venus/mars book: I have heard of it and will get it. I would really like to have my W read it. The problem is that I don't want to "make" her read it or even suggest it. Any idea how to approach that?
I agree with Heim on this one. Just get it and read it; don't read it secretively. You might try, from time to time, mentioning something that you learned while you're reading. See if she seems open to listening. If she does, keep up the sharing and it will pique her interest. If she doesn't, stop talking about it and just keep reading; then try implementing what you learn and test her responses.
Once we get past the panic stages, a lot of DR is just experimenting and measuring responses -- figuring out what works and keep up more of the same, figuring out what doesn't work and dropping it.
Well done! Keep up the good work! Your W is very lucky that you willing to do the hard but good work. In the end, you'll be a better person and father for it, regardless of what she does.
