Tell him that you have told him that you are sorry and that you feel like you've said it enough and aren't going to continue to say it to him b/c it keeps the wound open. You have chosen him and he must believe that you want to stay with him. Tell him that you have felt guilty for your EA but that you refuse to continue to live your life in guilt b/c you cannot grow as a person and your M cannot grow living in guilt.
that is a great idea. I don't have any problem reassuring him, but i just feel like the more he brings it up, the more it's right there in our face. I don't think about it until he says something. Then it's all right there again, me feeling guilty and him feeling hurt and angry. Next time he says something about it, I will explain this to him (as best i can)
Originally Posted By: sandi2
I just believe as long as you "allow" him to do use this tactic, he will. When he sees that you refuse to buckle under and start all over with the apologies, then I think he will finally give it up.
I allow him to get away with a lot. I have to start standing up for myself. we are equals. I am not just around for cooking, cleaning, childcare and sex. I am his wife and i have to make sure he treats me like it. I started last night and have to get stronger about it.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
I hope for your own state of mental health that you will choose to stop allowing him to use this to emotionally beat you down anymore. It will harm your own self-esteem and it won't be long until the M will be in big trouble again if you don't make him stop repeating this behavior.
He has gotten better than he used to be. I have friends tell me that i'm crazy for staying with him, but it's not that, i'm just crazy for letting him get away with it. Big Difference.
new goal: grow a backbone... stand up for myself.
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
