If my wife found out about it could she reasonably see this as sneaky and a betrayal and as a "one foot out the door" type of action?
Balto, this is why my marriage went around in circles for so long: my H and I, with our ambivalence, each kept " one foot out the door" typr scenarios going. Either you're in it, or you're not. Do what it takes to make things better for yourself in the marriage. If you can't take it anymore, get out. I know you want to portect yourself, but this type of action only will serve to distance you more from her. My guess is that if the marriage ended, somehow you'll land on your feet.
