Nice list.

The hardest thing you will learn here Jab is to stop talking. It is natural to think that we need to sit down and talk, reason, and communicate, and that will solve our problems. But it does not work. Why? Because we are running on emotion.

Have you not talked before? Did things improve? Things got worse I bet.

With your list, she will sit and listen and then most likely attack you. "You said you were moving out, you lied, I will never trust you again". How will you respond without attacking back?

Quote:
I only leased apt to help alleviate her stress, give her some alone time (as she requested) for DUI sentencing and 2) (as she requested) alleviate her burden of driving me to work all the time until I resolve my transportation issue.

All true, but she already knows that.

Tell her she is in "stress" is negative.

Reminding her she will not accept the "burden" of driving you is negative. It is attacking her pride.

Remind her about the DUI? Not a good idea.

Telling her you are doing things b/c she "requested" sounds manipulative, attacking her pride again and makes you appear weak.

When the W is seriously pulling away, reassurance of a direct, verbal kind never work, b/c you are telling her over and over again how desperately you need her. EVERY time you talk, or write a letter, you are telling her that she is wrong and that you are right; that you are trying to change her.

That is not attractive. That is only feeding her desire for D.

See where I am going here?

Quote:
I'm basically telling her that this is NOT a move out, just a 'time out'. Essentially, I am thinking of this as equivalent to a 'business trip'.

Don't sit her down and talk. Show her instead. Act happy about this move (or at least act as if). Show her you are doing it for YOU. Don't try to justify it. Say as little as possible. Set up the spare bedroom so she knows you will be back on weekends. Then just do it.

And if you do move, don't make the mistake I did: staying all alone thinking about her. Instead, use your time alone to work on you, GAL, enjoy others.

Learn to like yourself, be happy without her, agree and support her best you can without attacking her pride - that will make you attractive again.

Strength and Honor.


Jeff

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