I really am not sure how it happened or why but a huge event has happened in my sitch. My WAW pulled a big 180 on me. I could tell yesterday that she did not sound real good at work but she asked if we could talk later yesterday evening. I said OK but was unsure of what she was going to say. The night before she ripped my heart out and I listened a lot, validated, and said very few statements but spoke with my heart. Last night she came by our house and we began to talk. She first asked what I thought of the conversation the night before. I replied that while it was not what I wanted to hear I thought that it was positive that we were at least talking about our issues and conflicts. Then she began to talk about how she had been rethinking things after our conversation.
She said that she had doubts about her decision to leave and that we would always wonder whether or not we truly gave it all we had before we made a decision one way or the other. She then began to cry and ASK for forgiveness for everything that she had done to me including the EA with the OM. She also asked me to take her back and if I could find it in my heart to forgive her and would be willing to work on our M, she would be willing to put everything she could into it (not sure what "everything" is right now. I was completed shocked. She said that she did not want to abandon all of our friends but she said that we need to spend time together and figure out how to fulfill each others needs. She could not give me a committment that she would stay forever for sure. She said that could not guarantee how long she could try. She said 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, or forever. She just said that she could not live unhappy but was willing to explore our M to see if it is worth saving for both our sakes. I reassured her that intend on keeping my promise to her that I made on our wedding day and that I would never quit trying or fighting for her.
I really did not want to ask what brought about the change of heart but I really did need some insight. After all, we need to keep positive changes going. She said that last night before we left she asked me to read off what I had written on my notepad. The notepad had a few lists on it that included my perspective on some goals that we should have together, her needs, and my needs. She said that ultimately what I had written down was what she wanted. I think she must have realized that "I am getting it".
I am cautiously optimistic. I realize that I barely even have a yellow light here. I should procede with extreme caution. Although, we already met two of my personal goals this morning when she initiated a hug and a kiss before she left for work. Interesting. We have a long ways to go and I am eager to put in the work or effort. I asked her what an effort to her looked like and she could not explain that right now. She asked me how much effort I was willing to put forward and I answered that I would match her efforts completely so as not to smother her nor to be considered slack.
I really don't know what to do from this point or how to proceed. Any thoughts?
ME-30 WAW-28 T-12yrs M-5yrs no kids Bomb 10/1/07 S-10/1/07
