Thanks so much for your posts. Yea, spitty, I do think he is bipolar. Funny, when XH left one doctor thought I was bipolar. Then my T told me that when you live with someone who is up and down all the time you start to mirror their actions. Happy when they are up, sad when they are down. Make sense?
Well, I left out some info on yesterdays' post as I was too exhausted to type. I called XH at work for the first time in years to discuss him blowing off the kids (I should have let it ride..ignored him for doing so, but I didn't..live and learn) and the Rat answered.
I told her that it was never my intent to hurt her through my emails to XH. I told her I was unaware of her still reading his emails. (I know, shouldn't have said a thing to her but I did..too nice at times, I guess) She said some bogus excuse for reading but said the only way I ever know the truth or what he is doing with his schedule is by reading the emails.
I know it sounds twisted, but I understood.
She told me she is done. How abusive XH STILL is. How many mistakes she made. How much he has hurt her. How much he lies and lies to her. I don't think she was looking for a pity party, I think it was her assimilating to me saying, she got what she deserved. She more or less said so.
I see in retrospect the chick didn't deserve the power of my thoughts or my words. However, it makes me sick to my stomach (literally, I have had no appetite) that XH is continuing the cycle of abuse that he did to me, he saw as a child that his dad did to his mom and stepmom. The disrespect to women is awful and my kids see it, still.
Here, the Rat goes away, he puts his profile on a dating webiste, has all these women emailing and calling..all the while the kids are with him for the weekend. He is showing pictures of the girls to the kids, asking their opinion..Sick.
Fastfoward a week later, he and the Rat go away on a business trip together. She knows nothing about it. They shack up and come home as if nothing had happened, meaning, she and XH are still a couple.
As predicted, XH is now shooting off bullying emails to me. That is what he does when he gets back together with her. Instead of me not responding as I usuaually do, I reply to his email. I tell him to get his act together and stop the bullsh**t.
He goes ballistic. Calling my kids. Telling my D that mom got what she wanted. All over two lines in an email referring to his dating webstie. The guy puts his life story on the internet and he yells at me for blowing his cover!! That is pretty funny you have to admit.
So, I kept my head on straight while I talked to the Rat. She is an idiot. She and my XH have, get this one, gone through SIX COUNSELORS together. She said every time they start to get into XH's brain a bit he dumps them.
She also said that the XH has done worse things to her than spit in her face. That made me sick. He is a monster. When I told her that all I wanted was for things to settle down and that XH should be grateful I even give him the time of day for doing that to me, she said he has done stuff like that to her.
She said he calls her a loser all the time. Criticizes her and lies to her.
How do I feel about all this? Well, I feel mad I even let all this nonsense go so far. I shouldm't have spoken to her but I did. I was not curious at all about her or her life with XH but I told her I didn't want the kids around it anymore. She said she didn't blame me and that is why she and my XH don't get together when the kids are around anymore. Whatever.
She is a sick ticket and I am sure fed me what I want to here. She asked me to please not tell XH about the conversation or he would fire her. She said she needed the money because she has to pay her L to take her XH back to court.
I am not getting involved. If she is allowing him to do all this stuff to her, it is her issue, not mine. But I have to admit, to hear about his abusive ways, well, I want to go up in his face and slap him. What makes him think it is okay to do those things to another human being? He learned NOTHING from our M ending. Nothing.
Well, your posts were right on the button, so thank you. I needed the pep talk because I hate it when my emotions get out of control. I pride myself now on not letting XH get to me and my psyche, but he does. It's being pricked by a needle over and over again and I am a balloon...and then POP!
