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[mrarow]

Today was a new day. Had rough sleep but managed a few hours between getting up with my sick 11yr old D. Stayed home from work to be with her as she had been running a fever all night and most of day. Seems better now, bad flu I guess. She has been feeling sick not to that degree but its been every day for almost a year!(Since we started having problems and W has been not herself). Have had her checked D out but all points to stress at this point. Tiring to be strong and keep her out of the mess at this point but she knows something's up with me now sleeping alone. Told her Mom just needs space and we love her and it has nothing to do with her why we are having our problems. SURPRISE W came home partway thru her day as she was passing thru to check on D and I received a Goodbye Kiss which do not come very often if at all anymore! Do they ever feel good!Did not over react this time as I have in the past when she has shown a tiny glimmer of affection to me! Anyway I read a very cool e-book today called The Man of your dreams/The woman of His at this web site http://www.joelandkathy.com/. Found it very cool would like some input please on this book if possible from the rest of you. I am going out to a Christian Men's meeting tonight to get out of the house and give more space to her and do some something for me. Its a first for me as i have never been to one. I also went for a Massage today which was very relaxing for my stress level and helps with all the tension I have built up in my Back and Neck. Left her a nice card for tomorrow instead of the flowers she has received every Thursday since the Bomb was dropped. (I had created a day I call Flower day that comes every Thursday. It was for a couple reasons. Buying her flowers was something I had always done when we started our relationship 14+ years ago and felt I was long over due for her to feel Like I think about her all the time and Love and want to be with her always. The second reason she gets recognition every Thursday with flowers or something special on Thursdays is that I told her that it was a sign of my never ending love and affection for her and that it will serve as a reminder to me to never become complacent in my marriage ever again. I told her that if I ever missed 2 in a row she could be sure I was slipping away back into complacency and it would be a warning sign for both of us. I HAVE NOT MISSED ONE IN OVER 5 months since I started this but am now wondering if I have been doing a good thing? Input would be nice. It will be hard to stop doing this and its something I still feel very good doing every week to show her my feelings without saying anything. Will be posting some GAL ideas this week and start to read thru Divorce Remedy Book again as well starting tomorrow. Looking forward to input and will continue to read the other posts on this site. Thanks everyone for the continued support in advance.