WAW says "I'm filing for D", but no papers

[SirPrizeMe]

CVA, Yes, I apologized for the controlling behavior, but either I haven't done it very well, or she is not accepting my apology.

The "we can date other people while we are separated" discussion is a good case in point. She did not use the word "control" around that, but I am imagining that it felt that way to her.

before stating my position on the dating thing, I thought about it long and hard. In the end I decided, no, I don't want to agree in writing that it is ok for my wife to date other men. Period. Of course, she can do it if she wants - in fact I do not control her - but she won't get my approval if she dates other guys. That's what's healthy for me.

That interchange led to more bad feelings. I just shake my head because ... I'm sorry she feels that way. I'm not going to agree that she can go have sex with other guys. The way I see it, that is not me controlling her. It's me stating what works for me, and inviting her to accept it.

For her that gets transformed into "control". What can I do?

But like I said, on the softer more subtle forms of control - I am guilty as charged.