I am so sorry!! Snooping is necessary at times, but darnit, it hurts. \:\( Especially 'tangible' evidence. OW's H has recorded calls between OW and my H and they aren't talking about the weather. I will never listen to these. Knowing it happened is enough for me.

You are right, your focus is now to protect yourself and your kiddos. No more intimate contact with H, and minimal 'any' contact with him at all. No need to be friendly with this person, but you can remain neutral.