Jak, I've been thinking further about your concerns about the separate room arrangement. I'm thinking that to just show-up and start sleeping in the main bedroom without an invitation or sign would be pursuing. I'm also thinking that her sleeping elsewhere behavior indicates that she is still struggling with managing the stress in her life. This means that for me to bring-up physical intimacy as a R topic would be poor timing.
I think timing is very important here. She wants distance in this area for now, so I have no choice but to respect that.
The sleeping arrangements are a concern, but I don't want fear to to be the motivating factor in my addressing this issue. I don't want to undo the good work I've done so far.
She's noticed the positive changes in me this past year. She wants connection. I think once she addresses her job, financial, and health issues, she will be in a better place to work on physical issues in the M.
I've noticed that she is spending less time with a long-time peer. My W is changing, and her friend is not. I would consider their R to be codependent. I think my W is starting to see her for who she is--selfish, manipulative, dependent, and not interested in improving herself.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
