Thanks for the reply. I can completely understand the feeling of needing to remain in a good, quiet place for a while. Unlike my sitch you've had a really tough rollercoster ride, which must be extremely draining. I've felt bad enough through this process, and I've seen no nuggets of hope (unforunately). Even then it's really, really hard to detach.
Sounds great that you have a load of people you've met who have taken a real shine to you and have kept you in the loop. You are obviously a fun woman to be around but right now finding the right balance for you is most important. Take care of yourself. T
I have started to reach out more socially, which is something I find hard to do. Although we haven't the variety of fun activities here that you have listed. Most of the time I end up having a great time when I do decide to do things and be more outgoing, so I don't know why it takes so much for me to do these things. Still it's these periods of growth and introspection which are really very illuminating. I have learnt a huge amount about myself in the past 6 months and have identified some of the issues I need to work on. I guess most of us do the same - it's a shame our OHs sometime don't appreciate who we are and how hard we battle to make improvements.
I had a very rare phone conversation with my W this evening. It's times like these that baffle me as to why things can't work. We get on well, we are not at each others throats, we show interest in each others lives ... and oh ... we calmly discuss divorce as if we were planning a holiday. It seems utterly mad!
I have spent a fair amount of time thinking about those issues where I feel my actions contributed to the decay of our R in the last year. I could identify more things than I initially realised and wish I had been more caring and attentive. Oh to be able to go back and warn myself. What does one do with this information? Would apologising do any good? Is writing a letter really stupid?
Bye for now,
Max
Me 36 W 37 Bomb (Easter 07) Sep (WAW July 07) "It's over" (end Oct 07) T10.5 years, M2 (before bomb)
