I emailed him two times about kids schedules, concerns about x-mas, money stuff.
I got a curt email basically saying that he is to see proof of expenses, how I misread the divorce settlement when it comes to finances..and basically a "screw you" letter.
I was nice. I was sincere.
Enough is enough.
I told him in the reply that I wasn't an employee or his girlfriend and I am done with his condescending lectures. I was no longer intimidated on how he "tells" me what I am and what I am entitled to. I said I was no longer the scared wife that I once was of his criticisms and rude comments.
Basically, in a nutshell, I told him to fork over the dough he owes me or else. ( I have never done that before..I was always a kill it with kindness person but it hasn't worked). I told him that I am sure the judge would like to know that he is claiming to make double of what he made in the past and how the child support guidelines can be adjusted in one fell swoop.
He nickels and dimes me to death and I never, ever ask for any more money than what the judge stated. However, when it comes with getting reimbursed, he is a total ass..he is technically supposed to reimburse for medical with proof..which I have.
We got a 8K check from homeowners for his damaged boat when we were married. It was made out to the two of us. Technically, it was money used to reimbursed for damaged marital property which makes the money marital property. I never saw a dime from that check and his boat was appraised for nothing in the settlement due to the damage he acquired during a race.
You know what? I feel pretty good. For years and years I allowed him to speak to me as if I was a child. Telling me what I was entitled to, why I should do and not do. I take half the responsibility for falling into that trap but not anymore.
When he is back with the RAt, he treats me like sh**. I am done with that game.
Xh is no longer welcome in my home nor in my thoughts until he decides whether he wants to remain civil or not Either way is fine with me. I REFUSE to go back and forth like this guessing whether or not he is going to respond to my emails nicely or not. I played that game when I was married. Playing it now is just participating in this MLC game of his. Not anymore.
I am starting a new business. I teach writing classes at a local college. I keep up with my kids homework, tons of activites and their everyday well-being. I am exhausted. If XH wants me to play these games, it's his problem.
My kids are going to see me draw the line, finally. Pretending it's all peaches and cream with XH is not reality. I was treated like crap for years while we were married and then when we were separated. I am not going to allow this cycle of dysfunction to continue. What the heck is this teaching my kids? That is it is okay to spit in their spouses face one minute, then flirt with them the next? It's sick.
Also, my uncle died yesterday. I am pretty upset about it as I lost my aunt (who was like my second mom to me two years ago today). Originally, my email to XH was addressing bringing the kdis to a funeral on his Saturday. THere was no mention of my uncles' passing..no acknowledgement, nothing. My XH spent every holiday with them for 15 years.
HIs selfishness is gettting old and I FINALLY called him on it today.
As for the death of my uncle, it's really sad. My cousin was one of three kids and lost her oldest brother. She lost her mom two years ago today and her dad yesterday. She is a wonderful person and doing okay. Her daughter text messaged me yesterday she wants to come stay with me. I really need to step up to the plate right now and be strong for them and I will, my mom, too as it was her sister's husband that died. He was like a brother to her.
So, I guess you could say getting xh's stupid email really made an impact on my psyche because I was sad about all the other things going on in my life. His self-created drama and pity-party attitude is going to get no reaction from me unless it is aimed maliciously at me or the kids. Other than that, he can go scratch himself..
Okay, off to get ready for my date night tonight. New Guy taking me out for a little shrimp dinner and nice stiff Cosmopolitan. Thank God..
Thanks for reading and letting me vent. I am okay..I feel good and believe it or not, empowered. It's the first time since XH left that I challenged his intellect and stuck up for myself without yelling at him..Yay for me.
