Another newbie with a problem - long story

[Stormchaser]

So... go out and talk... is this helping?

You betcha.

I think this is a great opportunity for you and I am excited for you. However, I would temper it with one thought and that is, if your wife is like my wife, and by the sounds of it there are some freaky-close similarities, then she will try to go to "quick-fix" mode. This will allow her to assuage her guilt or other realizations that she has probably had lately that you may be right and she may at least partially at fault. When we have had these discussions, they have usually ended with her buying in and making agreements about what the future will look like, a few days or weeks or change and she then gets into a "my work here is done" mode.

This is an interesting point, PF. Especially around the holidays, I can see why she would want to keep the peace. I'll have to keep a careful eye out to see if she follows that same pattern your wife does.

Thank you.