Amy- I think theforlornhope is right, in both cases. I think that jab is in serious denial about what damage he did throughout the marriage, bringing home a paycheck isn't enough (as I am learning). And I think the stuff with dar was a huge step. HEr H didn't leave 'cause he's MLC, and that changes everything.
One quick question, how long did you think that was coming? Was it just today, or did you suspect before?
OJ ~ I have been suspecting for some time because of her resistence and the fact she gets pissed at him so quick when things don't go her way. She has ZERO respect for that man. I mean, there's venting, which we all do here, and then there are NASTY HABITS that need to be broken. I've tried to bait her before but she just gets sarcastic with me. Basically after her revealing post today, I've got her dead to rights. If she listens, she can change. She is insecure - that's the bottom line - but she does NOT get what she has DONE to him and I sometimes wonder if she cares. She is a tough lady and not in a good way either BUT she CAN be. IF she turns that toughness around and lets it work FOR her instead of against her.
Yeah, and the Staff Sergeant I named my second son after worried a lot about that. (sarcasm, ) He was tough, and he made me tough. He made me more than what I was before. Like my dad did.
Your call for help brought more assistance to that man than anything other than an in-custody type environment.
This was an "intervention" if he chooses to listen.
So what if you pissed a few people off?
Check the balance.
Since he won't think of it for a while, thanks. It matters.
OJ ~ I have been suspecting for some time because of her resistence and the fact she gets pissed at him so quick when things don't go her way. She has ZERO respect for that man. I mean, there's venting, which we all do here, and then there are NASTY HABITS that need to be broken. I've tried to bait her before but she just gets sarcastic with me. Basically after her revealing post today, I've got her dead to rights. If she listens, she can change. She is insecure - that's the bottom line - but she does NOT get what she has DONE to him and I sometimes wonder if she cares. She is a tough lady and not in a good way either BUT she CAN be. IF she turns that toughness around and lets it work FOR her instead of against her.
Amy- I'm not sure you should be working for a lawyer. I think maybe you should BE the lawyer.
I had kind of noticed that her first reaction was always self defense. But I never had a clue what was in there. My wife is a bit like her, I think, but usually stops pretty short of the absolute name calling. Of course, I can do little right, and we haven't ml for almost three years, so I guess maybe she's got what she wants, anyway. I think after the holidays I may see if things can be changed.
My wife is funny though. The uncle I went to see this summer has suffered another setback, and has pretty much said he's ready to give up. I talked to him today, and he really sounded comfortable with it. They though he wasn't going to make it through the weekend, but he rebounded a bit. But it is clearly only a matter of time, probably weeks at best (though one never knows). Anyway, my cousins and my mom (his twin) will be converging over in Lubbock over the weekend, and my wife said I should go. After talking to him this morning, I agreed, he sounded really enthusiastic about it. So, tonight I told my wife that I figured I'd go out Friday, and come back Monday, leaving two whole days there. She said I should stay longer and spend more time with them. Which is going to mean more work for her, at least to a degree. Though the kids are getting pretty self sufficient, except for the small thermonuclear devices required to get them moving in the morning! Anyway, for someone who seems to care so little, she cares a lot! Makes it hard to know what direction to go, sometimes.
Well, that was fun! I think it is helpful just to put it down on 'paper' sometimes, kind of therapy.
Anyway, with dars's thread going where it is, I will not be practicing humor there, at all. I some MLC cases, I think it helps maintain sanity, but that guy isn't MLC, or at least he wasn't when this started!
Boy Howdy, I remember how that first month felt. No wonder so many people suggest anti-depressants.
He's got some heavyweights in his corner though, some great guidance, and he's found the right place.
Last edited by theforlornhope; 12/05/0706:06 AM.
-------------- The Forlorn Hope:...A picked body of men detached to the front to begin the attack....Fortified, meaning strengthened to stand...and thus, positioned for victory
Boy Howdy, I remember how that first month felt. No wonder so many people suggest anti-depressants.
He's got some heavyweights in his corner though, some great guidance, and he's found the right place.
Of course he also has conflicting great advice, so he is going to have to choose. I think he needs to move out (once he is sure he's legally protected), but I see compelling logic not to, as well. It will be interesting to see where it goes.
Amy, Sorry to jump in the middle here. Sounds like you are doing well. I'm alive. It's that time of year when I wish I hadn't been so optimistic in October taking all these gigs.
Life goes on. I am dealing with a lot of memories of the guy I was married to and how it all conflicts with the man who left me. Reconciling the two is impossible. I miss the guy I married but I realize he is gone. People are still asking me if he has a drug problem or bipolar. I don't know and I can't answer that.
Still holding my Cougar status as well as dating some men my own age. One guy is "quite taken" with me ( he's British) and I am trying to keep him at arms length. My heart is still broken.
Sounds like your life is returning to something close to normal. Would be lying if I said I wasn't envious. Thanks for the shout out... I do pop by here on occasion but really there is no point for me to post. I failed.
) He was tough, and he made me tough. He made me more than what I was before. Like my dad did.
