I think we all were saddened they didn't come rushing back to the best thing they ever had!!
Jeanette you got me thinking with this. Well you and Amy C.
How egotistical of us to think this. I mean there is a certain ammount of 'sense of self' and no not singling you out Jeanette, I certainly thought like this, when compared to 'toothless'. If not the best thing at least a 'better thing'.
Maybe we needed to be humbled, humbled to the point of lossing that particular thought.
OMG! H has always been the type of guy to look at other women, he is a real rubbernecker. You bet I didn't like this, and I would say "if you think you can do better then go for it!" Eating Humble Pie in very big pieces.
Why is it so darn hard to keep expectations in check? Just talked to the kids and talked to W for a second. She seemed almost happy to talk to me - never is. I view that as a bad sign, though. Not really sure why. I guess it's because I am fighting the expectation demon and want to see it as a positive, but I know that will only hurt later.
Keep in mind that DB'ing is not all about changing you. For most of us it just comes with the territory. The changes we incur are for the better so thats good!
HOWEVER...
During these changes your going to have to become attractive to your wife again.
What 180 can you do that would "shock" & "awe" her?
Just a little example for you ok? Next time you speak to her and she is talkative and happy, instead of grumbling about her getting a job, praise her for wanting to become independant, tell her it's a good thing for her to go out and be with "grown-ups" instead of with the children all the time.
Your also going to want to become a little bit elusive with her, give her something to wonder about
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Thanks for the feedback. I did ask her when her interview was and did not grumble. When she had previous interviews I tried to be positive and tell her good things -- but I went too far "You are so qualified, I am sure you will get an offer..."
I think that me being independant is helpful -- she took care of everything and took it for granted. We are separated by dictance so we don't see each other often, but I know she has noticed new clothes that i have.
I am working and have made progress on the elusive part. Not jumping to respond to any texts or e-mails. Also really trying not to think up things to ask her just so I could initiate contact.
Great analogy on the desert! Just wondering, is that glass half full or half empty? :-)
Just wondering, is that glass half full or half empty? :-)
Your very negative doa....I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean you say alot of negative things about your sitch and jump to so many negative conclusions! They are not as negative you think they are!
Even your name DEAD ON ARRIVAL is negative. It means it's all dead and never coming back.
There is a wonderful thread in the "Do a 180 workshop about "Shock & "Awe" go check it out.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
OMG! H has always been the type of guy to look at other women, he is a real rubbernecker.
Boy, could go two ways on this as my H was/is the same way.
Yes, maybe we are not the best, maybe we a just human. But the other side is do I want to be married to some one who doesn't think I am the best for him? In other words, has a lack of real commitment and is always thinking the grass is greener.
the doa180 is not dead on arrival for me it is - it is a reminder to Do A 180. I know I am negative on this and trying to make fun of myself to help me not get so caught up in the worst case scenario.
)