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Ok, so I have one question. If I should stay in house, how do I approach W and attempt to stay at this point? How in the heck am I going to bring up THAT subject without it blowing up in my face. I tried it a week or two ago and it literally 'BLEW UP'.

Tell her the truth. Why would you want to stay?

If you do go then also make it clear that you will move back in on a definite date. Any way you can stay at your house on the weekends and during the holiday? At least that way you would not be abandoning the family.

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I live in a remote area, taxicabs and carpooling are difficult.

Did you call around? Bet they would cut you a deal if you needed a ride each way for a long period of time.

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W admitted that over the past year or two it got to the point that she was hard on me because in her mind, she was just making a 'mental journal' of all my mistakes, overlooked the positive things and was very bitter and that's why she acted the way she did towards me. W admitted that was wrong but wanted me to understand how she felt. W asked me why was it ok for me to 'fall apart' and W didn't? W stated that she went through all the same 'hell' that I did and she didn't lose grip mentally as bad as I did. I told her that I was sorry and it wasn't fair, I should have gotten help for my problems a long time ago. W asked me why did my actions and feelings change for her when we was pregnant with S? (this is where R/M went downhill) I told her I didn't know and that's what I need to figure out. Maybe I wasn't ready to be a father yet.


We are M to the same woman my friend. Down to the kid thing. I was a terrible father until she dropped the bomb. We argued over how to raise the kids. And her attention was always on them - not me. My little boy inside was hurt. My W felt she held the whole thing afloat. She used the image of having to place her arms through the holes in the boat to keep it going. She finally ran out of arms.

When I did change she did notice but too late - she shut down. Did not trust I would remain changed. Easier to move on without me.

Get those books. Read.

Drop me an email at jbg223_at_knology.net. I can send you some reading material if you would like.


Jeff

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