It is often said that a "strong" male presence is attractive to women. But there are different ways of expressing strength. One way is to exert power and control over another person. That way leads (at best) to complicit behavior, which frankly I doubt most people want in their spouses (let me hear it Cemar ... "I want desire"). Another way to show strength is in steadfastly doing the right thing. That way leads to respect, and can lead to the person accepting your needs as valid of their own free will.
As an example, let's say my W is sexual 2% of the time, something I find unacceptable in a M. I can be very "strong" and pressure her constantly to up that percentage. But if she does, why is she doing it? Is it a healthy change? What will most likely happen if the pressure lets up? Do I want to live in an M in which I am constantly pressuring the person to do as *I* want?
Or what I can do is nurture the 2%, so that it can become something that she sees on her own as positive. And during the 98% of the time, I back off and let her find her own way back to the 2% (which hopefully will increase as time goes by). It does not mean I accept the fact that it is only 2%, it does not mean that put on a fake happy face. It does not mean that when asked I lie and say "nothing's wrong." It also doesn't mean that I stop doing romantic/loving things if I truly want to do those things for their own sake. It just means I am willing to give her the time and space that she needs to figure out what she wants for herself. In the meantime I will do what I need to do, within the bounds of my morality, to be happy. Accepting someone's right to do the wrong thing, while maintaining an intention to do the right thing, is a position of strength. It shows strength of character in a long-term frame of reference.
In the end though, there are no guarantees. It may be that no matter how right you are in your behavior, the other person may choose the wrong path. It might also mean that at some point you both realize that you are incompatible. So be it. Then you have to decide if that is a reason to sever your partnership agreement ... aka marriage.
IMHO of course Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
