I'm faced with a dilemma - I've decided that tomorrow night is her night off and I'm going to probably spend some quality time with my brother, something I haven't done in months. She may bark about it being "the family night" together, so I'm wondering how to approach that.
We've also barely spoken since last weekend, our schedules don't match anyway, but we often talked during the day by phone. Its been pretty much "hi, goodbye" every day.
I'd tell her exactly what you just wrote. Tell her it isn't her, per se, it is the situation and you aren't feeling close right now. So... you are going to spend some QT with your brother. If she barks... that is HER problem. Sooth yourself through your anxiety when this occurs by telling yourself that you deserve to have time to yourself. It's not like you are abandoning your family.
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The other dilemma is she has that xmas party coming up this Saturday. Its something I do look forward to, however, given the current state how I feel (very distant right now), and knowing it would most likely result in the alcohol sex, would it be a good idea to simply tell her I don't want to go?
If I were writing this situation to you... what would you tell me? Seriously.
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FWIW, asking her not to drink ain't gonna work - I'll get the "you don't control me" lecture. Or do we have to start some kind of dialogue now?
She's a big girl. You've told her how you felt about drinking/sex. She's the one who is choosing. If you don't have enough self-discipline to stand up for your own beliefs, there really isn't anything WE can do here to help you. It's like a smoker saying... "I can't quit because it's hard." kwis?
If you don't want to fix the R, or at least try, that's okay. But stop blaming her for your own lack of discipline. It isn't fair.
