LRT UNDER SAME ROOF II

[craig54]

w is still mad at me today. she stayed home sick. i asked her if i could up anything at the store for medicine wise, she tersely said no .i said nothing after that . i am torn whether to apologize for my outburst last friday afternoon. problem is, it was justified as far as i was and am concerned. so i probably will just tough it out and go about my business. last night wasn't as bad as sunday night. but it still was tense. am a little bummed today.

[Wooglint]

Craig,

My guess is that the W knows what she did was not appropriate and is taking it out on you. I'd just back off as much as possible and let her figure it out. I don't think you can win here and I'd just leave her alone.

[ann25]

i second woog. no good will come of the apology. Let her stew in her misery for a little bit. you said last night wasn't as bad, so I'm sure tonight will be better!

[craig54]

thanks woog and ann, of course i am over anylzing the situation and my emotions. that is why i come to the bb for advice, to keep me in check. thanks

[craig54]

well, i have been praying and pondering my actions when i talked to w on last friday afternoon on the phone. i have asked numerous people on the bb, whether i should write her an apology. the overwhelming majority say no. but i have to look in the mirror every day, and i know what i said to w was not justified. i should have just shut up and let it go. but i didn't and now i cannot get it off my mind. my mantra for db'ing says do not be angry, nasty, or cold. well i was all three.

[Wooglint]

Craig,

Everyone makes mistakes and part of this process is learning forgiveness. If you are willing to forgive your W for what is going on, you have to be willing to forgive yourself.

I really do think you'll just make it worse by talking to her about it. Forgive yourself. It happens

[john210]

I'm with woog...how many of us here have been able to stay away from "angry, nasty and cold"? It happens...however, if this thing is eating you up, go ahead and say you are sorry you lost your temper. Personally, I would leave it at that.
It's your call, there are no right or wrong answers. I guess you can justify it by saying that you would apologize to a friend.

[Pudmuddle]

I'm with Woog and John, craig. I think it was totally correct of you to stand up for yourself and her inconsistent behavior. Maybe your approach, as you said, wasn't the best. But don't backslide on sticking up for yourself. She will respect someone who is takes a strong stand more than she would someone who does and then says how sorry they are for doing it. Does that make sense?

I would just let it go, and practice on how you can approach it better next time, ok?

[craig54]

pud, yes it makes sense. i guess i need to just forgive myself. i need to remember i was also standing up for the children. i just have a hard time with my w being mad at me. last night was a little more cordial, not much, but somewhat. she did say bye when she left for work. so things are calming down. thanks for your advice.

[craig54]

small positive , cant read too much into it. she was home all day. d papers are still sitting on table in her room. still not filled out. it has been 10 weeks since she dropped bomb. no r talk for over a month. she hasn't mentioned anything at all. just living like normal. sort of.