H is now progressing with his contact with the S18, who is quite receptive to H's move.

Different story with youngest S16, H did contact him but has withdrawn again, mainly due to S being harsh with his words, truthful and harsh. S18 is pretty shallow at times, he wants the contact, he wants the gifts so he is pleasant to H.
S16 is of the opinion he doesn't need H's attention or money.
H & MIL still don't mention me, as if I do not exist. This will be our 3rd estranged christmas, but the first without entertaining the in laws, I just think why the hell should I.

Every year I have made them welcome, I have put on a huge dinner, quality presents only to be blanked. This year I am not even sending cards.
This decision does not come from bitterness it comes from realisation, that I have always been the one who made the effort. That I have put my back out year after year and it has not been appreciated.
Maybe I'm heading for my own little MLC, I think not, I think it's more like I have taken off those rose tinted spectacles.

When I first met MIL she didn't like me, I worked hard to fit in, Why did I do that ? because I loved H and did it to prevent rifts, I learnt to tolerate the digs she made, she mellowed.
I have spent years listening to her moaning ways, her ailments and her complaints about society, and how badly treated she is.
she is one of the people that are only happy if they have something to moan about.

So I now think well, I supported you, I listened to you and you treat me like some kind of untouchable when your son has had 2 x affairs, hurt your gandkids and has put us in debt.

Yes the Rose tinted specs are off, I'm seeing people for who they are, H is in MLC, he doesn't get it, his outlook remains fogged.
MIL and the rest of the family are just plain nasty.

Has anyone any knowledge on a person having an early MLC, around the age 34, followed by a full MLC some ten years later ??????
I lived through a shorter version of this 10 yrs ago, I wonder whether he is a true MLC or whether he simply did just want out. It doesn't really make much difference, we are just weeks off the divorce, it's nearly all over.