Sounds like you have some great goals. I'm going to try to help by pushing them just a tad:
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1) keep my critism/lecturing/smarty-pants mouth shut.
Break this one down -- what actions do you need to do to accomplish this? Give examples/scenarios.
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2) Not be controlling of my W, but let her be her own person.
I would argue (a little Socratic method here, if I may) that the very fact you made the statement, "...let her be her own person," implies that you still have some control issues via the word "let". "Let" implies that you are still in control, and somehow giving her permission? Some food for thought.
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3) Be the Dad that my 2 babies deserve.
Specific steps, please.
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4) Make our house an safe and enjoyable place for all of us.
Specific steps, please.
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5) Quit snooping/observing her behavior to the point where it upsets me.
Drop the last part of this goal, "...to the point where it upsets me." This implies that you will still snoop. Snooping will ALWAYS upset you. Just say NO.
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My PhD (I am actively ABD) is in Organization and Management/Information Technology Management. Isn't that just the perfect thing for a control freak? Everyday I fight the urge to design a Gantt Chart for our M recovery!
O-M-G!! I know what a Gantt chart is! I'm a bit of a quality geek, thanks to my H2B! I'm completing my Masters in Public Administration/emphasis on Health and Human Services. My research practicum will be related to applying Lean/Lean Sigma to patient care delivery...probably throughput in a an ambulatory clinic or may the OR. I'm also a member of ASQ, and recently passed my CMQ/OE exam. H2B was an ISO guy, auditor, Sr. Process Engineer and is now a Sr. Auditor (or something like that). He's created trend charts to 1) track weight loss in the past, and 2) monitor his golf game!
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What is H2B?
"H2B" is hubby to be. He was my SO (significant other); we split; I DB'd my rear-end off; we reconciled less than a year later; this past summer he proposed.
I'd also like to ask what other books you are reading to help you in your journey. H2B and I are big fans of Mars/Venus because it gave us a basic lexicon and understanding of our gender differences. Perhaps your lecturing/smarty-pants mouth is your Mr. Fixit coming out? Might be worth looking into.
