WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[FaithfulH]

I still don't know whether moving out is right or wrong but I do know this after conversation. She doesn't TRUST me. IMHO it's too late in the game so I have to go for awhile, if I didn't I'd be going back on my word again and problems would just escalate. My actions before finding DB only hurt the situation more. IMHO it would have taken about another week of my prior actions to seal my D if I didn't find DB when I did. She needs some time to herself, she has alot of s*** going on in her head between me and her F.

Jab,

I want to weigh in on the "moving out" question. I believe you need to stay in your home. I know you told her you were moving out....but, I wonder if a higher order principle isn't....Be willing to admit when you've made a mistake! As one who shared a home with a spouse during our separation, I can tell you that it takes a tremendous amount of strength to give your spouse what they want (time and space) when you are constantly coming face to face. However, I believe the fact that we shared a home shortened our separation (9 months in total) significantly. Admittedly I didn't have some of the same "demons" to battle that you are going after...and maybe you feel like you need the separation as well. Your conversation with her yesterday gave me a sense that you might be able to make it work at home. However, I believe you would need to agree on well defined boundaries. For example, my W moved into an adjacent room...perhaps you should offer to move into another room. As IWMIW stated, let your W lead here. This is about meeting HER needs and rebuilding HER trust.

BTW, I also agree with other posters about the dating comments. It is plain manipulation to state that you might date later. You don't have any desire to do that or you wouldn't be here. Your W (like most women) has an awesome "radar" and she can see this from a mile away. The changes in you must be real...for you...regardless of whether your marriage is restored. The dating comments were a setback on the trust meter! Don't worry about it...move on...and don't make that mistake again.