I say that is a great idea but I want us to go to counseling before we get the kids involved.
Stick to your guns on this! You've both got a lot of territory to cover before either of you are ready for her to move back in. I think the only way you'll both be satisfied with the outcome is if you have an unbiased third party involved to help both of you through the process and, as sox says, come to understand that the situation has changed forever (it can still be good, but it will be different). Insist on counseling before all else. If she's not willing and engaged, you'd have never made any progress anyway. Good luck.
