Well buddy, that whole forgiveness thing is part of piecing and it takes time. I also think some people are able to work through it much easier than others. Have you read "Not 'Just Friends'" or some other books on affairs? They can help.
I was in a similar boat. And the fact they choose to stay in a marriage that they could have easily left... and were just about to! Does say something.
On the other hand I completely understand your feelings. I've gone through the same thing. And honestly, you only hurt yourself dwelling on that kind of stuff. If she left tomorrow you'd be hurt, but ultimately you'd be fine. Happiness should never be dependent on another person. You have to find it inside.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
