So, knowing how bad my W thinks she was controlled, I started thinking about it hard to understand my role. I sort of get it but then I dont. I never stopped her from doing anything, ever. Never said NO, said I wasnt happy about certain things and grumbled when she came home or the whole Dallas trips to her family thing was always an "issue" but I never said, "DONT GO, or YOUR NOT GOING". So please help me people, I dont want to be a controlling person, how can you guilt someone so bad that they feel abused? I swear, I dont really understand it???
I did this too! It is the silent killer of love.
Your W wanted your support. She needed the support of the most important person in her life, and if she got silent disapproval instead, well that was hurtful.
Ann, Puddle and Sunny are right!
Except! Ann wrote:
Quote:
My husband would never tell me NO flat out, but he makes me feel guilty for wanting to do something ...
Ann, your husband can't make you feel that way! I agree that his behavior wasn't supportive of you, but you must own your feelings. . .
(there's plenty credit to go 'round on this issue)
Stay well everybody! Blessings to all!
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
