Quoting Jamesjohn: What are YOUR thoughts on some of the following questions?
"If one partner can trigger change in another, why do we spend so much time trying to convince our partners to change first?" I'm clueless, I have seen changes in my H by me testing out DRing, some work some don't.
"Why do I have to be the one to change?" I don't mind changing, I need to work on me to be a better person. Hopefully H will see the changes in me and start to make changes he wants to make.
"What if I push the wrong button?" Then I will quit pashing that button and start pushing another.
"My spouse and I are barely speaking (or are separated). If I change my approach to things, will my spouse even notice?" My spouse notices, but will he do something about it?
"Isn't it manipulative to try to change someone?" It's not totally manipulative, because your changing yourself, if H choices to make changes that is his choice.
"Why should I believe that anything I do will make a difference when it hasn't before?" I just haven't found the right button.
