tryin, thanks so much. I did lose it on H that day, when I found that out (OW took my D to the bathroom). Oh yeah.
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Congratulations on your strength and courage
You guys give me courage, really. I am terrified inside, however.
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You've said before he is a good father and I don't believe that he can go through with it in the end and he knows about it because he knows it will affect his children
He truly believes (like most WAS it seems...) that they will be fine. But I tried to get him to think differently about it Sunday night.
******* Journaling: Woke up to an amazingly cranky H, he was so rude to me. I called him on it (sorry DB!) and left the house to take D3 to school. When I got home, he was a changed person, so nice and engaging. Hello alien.
Thank you all for trying to lock my thread. Especially thanks to jar, for trying to 'trick' it to close... LOL!
I hear you when you say you are scared. I don't know if you have ever watched "I survived" on the Discovery Channel. It's a show about unique people that survived nature's events when most of regular people gave in.
So I praise you for not being ordinary. We all rely on each other's experience here. And we're all courageous to hear our voices when bad things happen, like remembering what one of us wrote. That says something about being able to listen to others, don't you think? And also about faith.
Take care.
PS: Mark, I was just thrilled about what you said about the birds. That's true indeed.
I think it may be time for your husband to "lose you." I think it may be the only way he'll ever learn to appreciate what he had. And I think mentally you are closer to being ready for it. I think if he "came back" (mentally to the marriage) now without truly appreciating you, neither of you would be happy. He'd continue to wonder about the "grass on the other side" and you'd always feel like second place.
I could be wrong, but that might be something to consider....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I could be wrong, but that might be something to consider....
Yes, and yes. I suppose I am creating my own LRT. I never wanted to say out loud "We'll sell the house" because I don't want to do that, but something has to change. If I have to sell it, I will. I am prepared to see the mortgage person this week because I said I would to H, and I have to follow through.
You are so sweet. I am not kidding you when I use my experience and what I have read here into action at home. Where in the world would I be without this board?
