Another newbie with a problem - long story

[Stormchaser]

Is it possible that its the other way around? That I'm more unhappy with the marriage because of the lack of sex?

Maybe. Contrary to popular opinion, that's pretty much how it was in my marriage ... everything else *was* fine but I wasn't getting my sexual/touch needs met, for reasons that had everything to do with my husband's upbringing and personality and nothing to do with the relationship between the two of us .... when that finally became an issue of contention, it started to bleed into other areas.

That's fine as long as you don't begin to think, "Well, it's just sex, why am I complaining so much and risking the wreckage of an otherwise sound ship?" If it's a big deal to *you*, Storm, it's a big deal. Don't let anyone -- not even you -- convince you otherwise.

Thats exactly how I feel. Yes, there were your typical quarrels and snips about things, finances, kids, dogs pooping in the living room. But as long as the sexual needs were met, nothing really ever bothered me that much. I felt close, and that close feeling made all those little annoyances just that - little.

And yes, you said it exactly - to me, its a huge deal. To her, its like I'm just a typical horny guy that's making a big deal of nothing. To her, the low sexual desire is a fact of aging, just like wrinkles and gray hair. And its accepted as such.