Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[ann25]

okay, so i was reading back and i'm sorry limbo... i got defensive. I don't ever seem to be able to defend myself or my feelings at home, so maybe i took it out on you... sorry.

something more solid, something stronger, quieter

This is what i want. something strong that will stand as long as we do. thank you.

journaling/venting: I wish i could have my husband back. The one that I married, not the one that lives in my house. I don't know why i let get to me like i do. I call home on the way to work. when i take lunch, before i go back to lunch, on my way home. I enjoy talking to him during the day and we exchange emails back and forth. mostly light hearted stuff. I enjoy that stuff. I just don't understand why he can't be that person when I'm at home. Why when I get home is there always something I've done wrong. I'm just not that bad a person. really. Why can't we be friends at home too?

Tonight should be good. He's got a friend spending the night, so he won't be grabbing me or touching me. That's a relief. I'll play with the girls and read and read and read... hehe.