If I find out that she is in fact the OW, and my H involved my kids, I may not be responsible for my actions...
Unfortunately, I don't know of any way to prepare for that. I've found that intelletually *knowing* and then having proof, or a confession, are two different things. With the second (even with forewarning) the rage and anger can be unexpectedly overwhelming. But please do try to keep try to keep your anger in check and avoid doing anything that can come back at you. Like if you have to throw something at someone. Make sure it's soft....
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Someone asked if I know her status with her H- unfortunately I don't and have no way of finding out. No access to my H's computer or cell- all are work related and password protected. Anyone good at hacking?
I don't recommend this, but I hired a private investigator. The amount of information you can get differs by state. Getting the information doesn't always make things better.... and it can make it worse. I think what you are doing (DBing, GALing, working on your own personal "edginess") is a better way to spend your time.... and money.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
