mwel, sounds like your W and mine are very much alike. My W said she knew that the M was over about this time last year when she said that I wouldnt pick my D up at college for fall break. I spent over 5 hours back and forth on fridays picking up D and then doing it all over again on sunday to get her back. D had major trouble adjusting to being away from home, and she called my W 24/7. Apparently I had tried to get D to make friends and to try to find rides home, so that made me a bad dude. Turns out D couldnt find a ride home, so W and I went up after work on a wednesday and brought her home. D eventually found friends and did get rides home for a few weeks, and then decided she didnt want to go back after the holidays, and is now commuting to a local college. I kept asking, as well as the C, what all this has to do with our R. She had no answer. C told me that when they dont answer, they know that they dont have a leg to stand on, and clam up rather than give an answer. W was somewhat LD about 10 years ago, and she said she knew that it was her problem and had to fix it herself. She also said that she thought about leaving then, but she had no place to go. She apparently worked it out, as I thought up until a few months ago when she dropped the bomb, that my M was as good as it gets. How could I be so blind! If the S doesnt ever mention that they are unhappy, are we supposed to be able to read their minds? How can someone profess to be so unhappy, and be able to have that outward appearance of happiness? I still say that W may have thought about leaving again, but alot hinges on empty nest, turning 50, major stress at work, and finding the old high school boyfriend on the internet. He came on at the right time when the W was apparently on an emotional low and the excitement for the W began. One thing I will never understand when I hear all the stories of friends and clients with the same problems, why don't S open their mouths and talk about what is bothering them? It would save so much heartache. I just imagine if I knew even a year ago that the W was unhappy, what we could have done to keep from getting to this point. Sara, sorry to steal your thread.
